Have you ever been engaged in a devotional and God speaks to you? I mean really, almost verbally and audibly speaks to your spirit? Maybe it happens often for some of you all, but not for me. So the other day, when it did, I felt so empowered and had to share.
I recently shared a poll on my Insta stories and asked my followers if they felt they took responsibility for their actions in their relationship(s). Sixty-two percent said “of course” they do, while 38% admitted that they don’t always step up to the plate and put on the “It’s my fault” hat. I have to admit that I had to second guess the validity of the “of course responses,” but maybe that was simply because I know I don’t always take the opportunity to say, “Okay, this is wrong, how can I change it?” But after reading this devotion on owning your faults and not blaming others for what you have done, I engaged in a self-evaluation.
“Newsflash: You made the choice… You need to make it right. No matter what anyone else did first, you are still responsible for you!”
– Cindy Beall, Living the Surrendered Life
I personally believe I am in a place where I take responsibility for my actions, mistakes and sins, especially when they are blatant. However, it’s sometimes hard to do so when someone, like my husband, calls me out on something I may not be doing right. When we first married, he often felt the responsibility of change fell on him because I always made it seem as if he was not doing something right or that there was something he could do better. I never really looked at myself to change or become better. It took up until this year to really start asking him, “What am I doing wrong?” and “How can I do this differently?” or even “What would be better for you?”
This is taking responsibility for my role and actions in my relationship. While I’m making sure I do this in my marriage, I had to ask myself, “Do I do this in my relationship with Christ?”
Asking God the questions I asked my husband is just as necessary because just like in a marriage, being willing to change for the betterment of your relationship is what keeps it strong. If you feel that you’re the one that has it all together all the time, then who is responsible for improving the quality of the relationship? Does it solely fall in God’s hands? Most of us would reply, “No.”
So then apply the above to a marriage, dating relationship, or friendship. The idea that one person is responsible for improving themselves automatically makes the situation one-sided and illustrates the presumption that the other individual is perfect as-is. *Insert disastrous situation theme music here*
Being willing to make shifts and adjustments and acknowledging when change and accountability is necessary is important for the survival and success of any relationship, but especially the one you have with God.
Are you challenged with taking responsibility for your fault AND taking the initiative to change them for the better? Those of you who have overcome this, please share your story. We’d love to hear your testimony!